Flickasbord, Volume 46

**Note: The following content has adult wording. Discretion is advised

The resumption of The Flickuum Project is 10 days away and I want it to fire on all 2,185 cylinders, as that’s how many overall guaranteed Flickuum spots will be locked down at that point. So, with all of that being said, let’s begin.

First up, the revocations of the movies “Promised Land” and “Consumed” have prompted me to grant three post-April 20 pardons to three movies that are on the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page. And as to what those three movies are, well they are 1) The Mack because it could be a good Conference 20 opponent for Black Samson, 2) Hidalgo because I’m catching “Togo” vibes with the 2004 movie and 3) Cyrano because if Chevalier can be in The Project, then this other Kelvin Harrison Jr. period piece movie should be re-assessed.

Of course, the problem with this two-for-three trade is that I need to give three to get three because I’m a believer in even trades. So, with that being said, I thought back to noticing Rosemarie DeWitt in “Promised Land”, and then coming away remembering that she also worked with the other half of the Matt Damon-Ben Affleck tandem via her appearing in the 2010 movie “The Company Men”.  And of course, it was right then and there that I found my perfect patsy in making the trade an even one, as it won’t co-exist with “The Town” in The Project nor did I enjoy the “undressed” aspect involving Maria Bello’s character. So, because of those reasons, it has had its fully guaranteed Flickuum status revoked, followed by A) Heaven Is A Playground being expedited from Tier 4 to Tier 3, B) Justice League: Throne Of Atlantis being expedited from Tier 5 to Tier 4 and C) The Bad Guys being expedited from Tier 7 to Tier 5.

The commitment to getting a Camila Mendes movie into The Project has brought nothing but movies filled with bad plot devices, cringy dialogue, bad execution and lazily shot scenes, thus resulting in movies of hers going 0-for-4 in making The Project this year alone. So, because of all that, she has three movies that are in the “have to have it” scenario of one of them passing assessment, in order to fill the void that was left by “Upgraded”. And as to what those three movies are, well they are “The New Romantic”, “Dangerous Lies” and “Coyote Lake”. Here’s to hoping for at least success out of those three or else she’s foreseeably shit out of luck.

Well, I was right on the money with my prediction of “Love Lies Bleeding” getting a hard copy release in June, as the first Tuesday of that month will be that day, according to an article that I received via Google Alerts. And this coming nine days after I discovered another A24 release in “Civil War” having a pre-order listing via Amazon. Yes, A24 doesn’t typically do pre-order listings as fast as Universal or Warner Bros., but they are becoming way more reliable than streaming-obsessed Disney when it comes to divulging those details.

Despite the fact that both “The Promise” and “The General’s Daughter” are competing March Madness style, James Cromwell doesn’t have anything that can consistently compete in the field of 68 format. And that’s a shame because he deserves to have a movie compete in that format against movies that have Keanu Reeves, Oscar Isaac, Melissa Barrera, Shemar Moore and Nadine Velazquez, especially since the void of “Memorial Day” needs to get filled. So, with that being said, I went right ahead and looked at his IMDB page to see if there was anything else of his that I wanted to assess/re-assess. And sure enough, there was, in the form of “Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron”. And as to why I chose that movie of his, well since it paved the way for “Spirit Untamed”, I figured that it was right to give a second chance to the movie that paved the way for it.

Movies in which protagonists take on antagonists in such tense situations (see two paragraphs from now) prompted me to re-assess “Panic Room”, as I want to see how I feel about the ending 14 years after assessing it. But of course, that’s not the only reason that I want to re-assess it because in addition, I want to re-assess it, so that I can see the difference in Kristin Stewart’s acting ability between that movie and some of her more recent work, such as “Love Lies Bleeding”.

I’ve gotten my fair share of horror movies trailers, whether it was “Evil Dead Rise” or “Imaginary”, and almost all of them had me rolling my eyes with that “Get the fuck out of here” look in them. But after finding out that A) I get a chance to see a new James McAvoy movie again via “Speak No Evil”, and B) Blumhouse will release it as an R-Rated movie, I decided to add James Watkins’ fourth directorial effort to my 2024 theatrical tour. Hopefully, the theatrical experience is a lot like two other Blumhouse releases in “M3GAN” and “Five Nights At Freddy’s because I don’t want another “Imaginary” on my hands.

And finally, a movie (Abigail) that looked like a Blumhouse movie lived up to the expectations that I had for it to the point that I already cannot wait to get the hard copy version of it into my collection. And not only am I looking forward to that because in addition, Melissa Barrera never ceases to amaze me, especially any time that she has a substantial role, which is exactly what this Radio Silence movie gave her. 

Well, I did have some more second-guessing to work through today/tonight, which is why I’m still far behind in clearing Tiers 8 and 10. But I still have May 6, 2024 in sight and I will truly pin my ears back to meet that deadline as soon as I’m done testing the functionality of tonight’s newest archived page.

Until the next time.