**Note: The following content has adult wording. Discretion is advised
Given that I no longer want to cram too many assessments/re-assessments into a single day, I’ve decided to spread everything that’s on my watchlist (including potentially bad movies) into a feasible window of time, with that window being from today through the wee hours of May 6, thus totaling 27 days. And of course, with that last part being said, I can compare these next 27 days to an MLB team needing 27 defensive outs to get to the World Series, which to me is evaluating movies. And given how much that I want to do that again, well it’s time to channel my inner 2016 Chicago Cubs (my favorite MLB team) to finally evaluate “Air Force One”. Let’s begin.
First up, a combined seven movies from Tiers 2 through 4 have all been purged from The Project, as A] Awakenings has had its fully guaranteed Flickuum spot revoked for being a pompous Robin Williams drama movie that has a forgettable ending, B] Homecoming has had its fully guaranteed Flickuum spot revoked for both Mischa Barton’s flat performance and her character’s cruel treatment of Jessica Stroup’s character, C] Snow Dogs had its fully guaranteed Flickuum spot revoked, although for a second re-assessment, D] Memorial Day had its fully guaranteed spot revoked for it being unremarkable time period-jumping movie, E] Bunyan And Babe has been permanently disqualified from competing March Madness style, due to it being an 82-minute long episode of a bad Saturday morning cartoon, F] Regarding Henry has been permanently disqualified from competing March Madness style, due to the cringe of Harrison Ford’s unintentional comedy and G] The Jean-Claude Van Damme movie “The Order” has been permanently disqualified from competing March Madness style, due to religion and low-budget action not being a good movie mixture. So, with all of that being said, I have to fill four fully guaranteed Flickuum spots and seven overall guaranteed Flickuum spots. However, I was able to do as such, as the following has occurred:
- Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 has been awarded the fully guaranteed Flickuum spot that has been revoked from Awakenings
- Max 2: White House Hero has been awarded the fully guaranteed Flickuum spot that has been revoked from Homecoming
- Red Rocket has been awarded the fully guaranteed Flickuum spot that has been revoked from Snow Dogs
- Violet & Daisy has been awarded the fully guaranteed Flickuum spot that has been revoked from Memorial Day
- The Blackening, Night Owls and Togo have all moved up from Tier 5 to Tier 4
- Goodbye Christopher has been expedited from Tier 7 to Tier 4
- Filly Brown, La Bamba and Justice League: War have all been expedited from their dual occupancy in Tiers 7 and 11 to Tier 4
- Justice League: Throne Of Atlantis, Say Anything and A Star Is Born ’18 have all been expedited from their dual occupancy in Tiers 7 and 11 to Tier 5
With big purging comes the addition of movies to the current assessment/re-assessment roster, as now 37 spots remain open in the 2,100 through 2,101 selection protocol. And of course, with that being said, this opens the opportunity for three such movies, starting with the remake of “School For Scoundrels”, which has been chosen as the Jessica Stroup movie that could fill the void of the recently ousted “Homecoming”, despite her role being a small one in the aforementioned remake. But hey, I want to atone for booting out a movie (Homecoming) that’s quite frankly no fault of her own.
Next up is “What We Do In The Shadows”, a movie that was directed by Taika Waititi and has cover art that reminds of me “Most Likely Murder”. Of course, I was constantly hesitant to assess the former of the two movies, due to one of the vampires kissing a much older woman. But if I can handle weird (to say the least) shit about old women in certain Adam Sandler movies, then I’m sure that I can handle that weird kissing shit in the Taika Waititi-directed movie.
And finally, the substandard movie that is “Bunyan And Babe” has prompted me to see if there is a better straight-to-video computer-animated movie, as maybe such a movie can fill the ousted movie’s void in The Project. And sure enough, I was able to find such a movie, in the form of “Open Season 2”, as that one is at least the sequel to a Flickuum movie, which is the first “Open Season”. Plus, I have seen the movie before, so the familiarity that I have with it could give it a leg up in the 2,100 through 2,101 selection protocol. Stay tuned.
Well, the 2024 leg of The Flickuum Project is at stake, so more second-guessing and no more overthinking. Just 37 (maybe 40) Flickuum spots to fill and with a solid idea on how to do so. And now that I have a renewed commitment to no longer cramming a lot of movies into a short amount of time, I can execute my plan and execute it on a consistent basis.
Until the next time.