Flickasbord, Volume 32

**Note: The following content has adult wording. Discretion is advised

I did say that I would be back with another Flickasbord entry. It was just a matter of when, with the “when” being today. So, with that being said, let’s begin.

First up, after doing a plot investigation of the movie “Two If By Sea”, I relearned one of the movie’s core aspects, which is the “two motherfucking art thieves in the same motherfucking area at the same motherfucking time” aspect, and found it to be a failed “this town ain’t big enough for the both of us” aspect. So, given both that and the fact that it’s as big of a dud as another Sandra Bullock movie in “The Net”, the 1996 movie has been permanently disqualified from getting Flickuum consideration, thus it’s on the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page. However, another Sandra Bullock movie will be found for March Madness style competition because it would be fun to have one of her movies go against movies that have Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Melissa Barrera and Nadine Velazquez.

I did say that the purging would stop, but the more nonsensical that “The Silencing” seemed to me, the less interested that I became keeping it around in The Project. Plus, that disinterest also applies to “The Glimmer Man”, as it’s both worse than Steven Seagal’s first straight-to video movie “The Patriot” and worse than “A Low Down Dirty Shame”, which stars one of Seagal’s castmates in Keenen Ivory Wayans. So, with all of that being said, I revoked the fully guaranteed Flickuum status of both (The Silencing and The Glimmer Man) movies, followed by A] Expediting “Shrek” and “Shrek The Third” to Tier 3, and B] Expediting “Body Of Lies” and “All’s Faire In Love” from Tier 7 to Tier 4. Yes, one Annabelle Wallis movie has somewhat replaced another Annabelle Wallis movie, while Nadine Velazquez gets her 11th overall guaranteed Flickuum movie.

“Upgraded” could be downgraded, as I decided to add the newest Camila Mendes movie, entitled “Musica”, to the current roster of assessments/re-assessments. And should her newest movie be anywhere near as vibrant as “In The Heights”, then the former of the two movies will be sent to the Movie-Ocrtiy/Dishonorable Mention page.

One third of Tier 11 is now filled, as “Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle” and “The Voyeurs” became the 14th and 15th movies, respectively, to get placed in that tier via getting hard copy confirmation. Of course, those two movies aren’t the “be all, end all” in moving along the 2,101 through 2,201 selection protocol, as the delay tactics of both Disney (Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes, Inside Out 2) and A24 (Love Lies Bleeding, Civil War) could hold it all up until September at the earliest. But hey, the former two of those movies getting their confirmation simultaneously is at least a step in the right direction.

And finally, in more Annabelle Wallis news, the failures that are “True True Lie” and “The Silencing” are not her fault at all, but they did/have put her under the double-digit amount of Flickuum movies. So, in attempt to get her back to double digits, the movie “Steel Trap” has been added to the current roster of assessments/re-assessments, as I picked up vibes that are similar to the 2022 movie “The Menu”. Here’s hoping to the yet-to-be assessed Annabelle Wallis movie living up to that hype.

Well, my goal is definitely resuming Flickuum evaluations on April 15, thus it’s only fitting that today is the day that I announce both “The Silencing” and “The Glimmer Man” being purged from The Project. So, on that note, time to finally haul ass.

Until the next time.