Flickasbord, Volume 31

Constantly changing things up within The Flickuum Project keeps delaying the eventual resumption of evaluations, but that’s the trade-off of wanting to put forth my vision of the best 2,300 movies. And of course, with that being said, steps are continuously being made to get closer to rounding out that number. Let’s begin.

First up, I might have seen Awkafina’s worst movie via the Amazon Video app, as I was thoroughly bored by the 2019 movie “The Farewell” to the point that it’s neck-and-neck with the very pompous movie “Past Lives”. Furthermore, the former of the two movies was expected to grab one of the 26 available spots within the 2,101 through 2,201 selection protocol, thus the move in replenishing assessment/re-assessment depth being a good one in hindsight.

21 specific upcoming 2024 movies are in a game of musical chairs, as one of them will mess up the plan of rounding out the next 100 overall guaranteed Flickuum spots, especially since all 21 of them could make The Project. But that’s assuming if both “Your Monster” and “Juror No. 2” can be accessible to assess this calendar year. And should that assumption become a reality, which I think it will, then one of those 21 will move up into one of those 26 currently open Flickuum spots. And of course, with the previous sentence being said, “Monkey Man” will be that movie since it’s the next one up on the 2024 theatrical tour.

In one of the last three ever pardons from the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page, “Evolution” was sent to Tier 7 as a fallback option, in the event of multiple movies failing assessment/re-assessment. However, it will likely be upgraded to an overall guaranteed Flickuum movie, as A] All those alien creatures are just way too cool to not be a part of Flickuum lore, B] It gives Katharine Towne at least one Flickuum movie and C] It can be a good evaluation before a round of viewing all 19 episodes of “Saved By The Bell: The College Years”.

26 became 25, as a few hours after I started writing this entry, “Justice League” Throne Of Atlantis” proved to be a movie that can be neck-and-neck with its predecessor (Justice League: War), thus it became the 13th movie to be placed in Tier 11. Furthermore, given the successful track record of 2D-animated DC Comics movie, perhaps I should give “Wonder Woman: Bloodlines” a second look.

I’ll admit, there were times that I lazily put movies on the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page, with “The Bounce Back” being the most prime example of that. But of course, the presumptive number one Flickuum movie wasn’t the only one that I got it wrong with because the same thing applies to “Greenland”, a movie that has A] Some real emotional power behind it, B] Tense moments that remind me of such moments in the 2013 movie “Hours”, C] A non-open-ended ending that allows for sequel upside and D] The presence of Morena Baccarin. So, given all four of those points, the 2020 movie has been pardoned from the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page and will be re-assessed for one of the now 25 open spots.

For nearly five months, I had the Johnny Messner movie “Beyond The Law” in my Amazon queue yet never got around to watching it until yesterday, as I figured that I might as well watch it since it’s there. Of course, I didn’t expect anything of it, especially since Steven Seagal (one of the other cast members) hasn’t been a part of a Flickuum worthy movie in nearly 30 years. So, with that being said, did that drought shorten for Seagal? Well, given the somewhat bad writing, and the ending that was both pointless and inconsequential, the answer to that question is no, thus one less movie to consider for the 2,101 through 2,201 selection protocol.

Speaking of Steven Seagal, I re-read the plot of his 1994 movie “On Deadly Ground” last night and realized that it’s worse than the 1992 movie “Trespass”, as both movies are unrealistic action movies about firefighters. This was then further confirmed by me seeing the YouTube video review of it, so I revoked the former’s fully guaranteed Flickuum spot, followed by A] Expediting “First Knight” from Tier 4 to Tier 3, B] Expediting “Broken Diamonds” from Tier 5 to Tier 4 and C] Expediting “Killers Of The Flower Moon” from Tier 7 to Tier 5. And that’s not quite it because in addition, the movie “The Patriot”, which began his 25-year run of straight-to-video movies, also had its overall guaranteed Flickuum status revoked, followed by “Prey” being expedited from Tier 5 to Tier 4 and “Dead Calm” being expedited from Tier 7 to Tier 5. 25 has become 27, but the 2,100 are back intact and all of the purging is now out of my system.

And finally, after not making a fuss about Frank Grillo and Margaret Qualley (29-year age difference in real-life) playing siblings in the movie “Donnybrook”, I decided to rescind the disqualification of “A Star Is Born ‘18” from The Flickuum Project, as I found out that Sam Elliott and Bradley Cooper were playing half-brothers and not biological brothers. So, because of that rescinding, the latter of the two movies has been pardoned from the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page, so that it can get a re-assessment. Furthermore, the 2018 movie can prove itself worthy of The Project just like “Million Dollar Baby” did nearly 15 years ago.

Yes, another Flickasbord entry has been written and there were a couple more Flickuum purges. But of course, now that all the purging is out of my system, I can take comfort in knowing that my decisions about “Evolution”, “Greenland”, “Wonder Woman: Bloodlines” and “A Star Is Born ‘18” are positive steps in the direction of reloading The Project.

Tune in either late this week or early next week to what I decide about “Two If By Sea”.