Flickasbord, Volume 25 

It was inevitable that I was going to write this 25th Flickasbord volume since I never seem to run out of blurbs related to The Flickuum Project. So, with that being said, the inevitability is here, so let’s get right to it.

First up, I decided to make another rule pertaining to The Flickuum Project, with it being the “purge a movie 10 days prior to resumption” rule, as evaluations will start back up again on April 8. And of course, with that being said, I found one last movie to purge from The Project before this rule was made, with that movie being “Frantic”. And as to why I purged that movie, well Harrison Ford’s unintentionally funny way in how he delivered a line in that movie just felt out of place in that movie, thus it has been removed from Tier 3 in favor of “Raging Bull”, which is another Martin Scorsese movie that could outrank “The Irishman”.

The Bounce Back and 20 as birthday numbers aren’t the only things that link both Nadine Velazquez (November 20) and Shemar Moore (April 20) because in addition, movies of theirs are featured in my review set “Permanently Shed From The Ton”, with her appearing in “Chasing Papi” and him appearing in “Diary Of A Mad Black Woman”. However, I had no idea that she was in the former of the two movies until I looked through her IMDB filmography back in early-November 2023. And of course, with that being said, I went on YouTube to see if I could find her scene in that movie. And sure enough, I did, with it being the scene where Sofia Vergara’s character tells her off in the conga longue. Yes, the movie is permanently banned from The Flickuum Project, but I can at least appreciate that scene for the mere fact that Nadine Velazquez graced it with her radiance. Plus, I can watch it on occasion if I want to.

It’s rare that movies with Flickuum potential end up pissing me off, but the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie “Sabotage” managed to accomplish just that. I mean my goodness, the movie was poorly written and had its runtime pompously padded out to the point that watching it was just a life-draining experience. So, given the aftermath (coincidentally another Arnold Schwarzenegger movie), it’s only fitting that this poorly written movie is named “Sabotage” for both that life-draining experience and the fact that it sabotages your time management.

A few hours after removing the stench that was “Sabotage”, I decided to see if “Never Die Alone” was any different from when I saw it 20 years ago. And as to what my verdict about that is, well for as difficult as it was to see the downfall of Reagan Gomez-Preston’s character, the movie isn’t as bad as I thought it was. However, that downfall and the nonlinear pacing of the movie both cause it to come up short in a “have to have it” situation, thus it will be a low-end movie on the Movie-Ocrity/Dishonorable Mention page.

In a lower stakes “have to have it” situation, “Not Another Teen Movie” was even dumber than when I saw it back in early-March 2003, as A] The spoofs are just cringe as fuck and B] The movie as a whole is dumb to the point that I’m amazed I’m not dumber as a result of re-assessing it. So, given all of that, it’s yet another movie that didn’t live up to expectations, thus loosening up the logjam of all the yet to be assessed/re-assessed Tier 8 movies. Plus, the void of a Jaime Pressly movie needed to battle “The Bounce Back” March Madness style has been filled via “6 Month Rule”, thus deeming the aforementioned “Not Another Teen Movie” as no longer needed.

In another take advantage of the 10 days prior to resumption move, “Anthropoid” had its fully guaranteed Flickuum status revoked, due to my 2018 memory of assessing it under-whelming me, although I could option it as a movie to re-assess. Furthermore, the movie fell under the 2,100 overall guaranteed Flickuum movie category, therefore “Bottoms” has been expedited from Tier 7 to Tier 2 to fill its space, so that the total of overall guaranteed Flickuum movies remains intact. And since “Bottoms” has been expedited, that means that the Tier 8 logjam loosens up just a little bit more.

And finally, a movie that doesn’t get too deep into a main character’s backstory has had its stock rise, as the Jake McLaughlin-led movie “Home” has an ending (I won’t give it away) that simply can’t be excluded from Flickuum lore. So, given that, the 2021 movie will be designated with the reserved for hard copy confirmation tag, thus becoming the fifth such movie to receive that tag this calendar month.

Alright, no more time for delaying the resumption of The Project, so expect the foreseeable group of assessments/re-assessments to be completed in chunks between now and April 8.

Until the next time.